“Mama says it’s not right.” Nokto repeated what he had been told, his eyes dimming as the memory of one of the punishments he had received came clearly back to him as if it were just from earlier today.

Finding The Right Clothes – A fanfic of Ikemen Prince AU with gender changes; written by RJ Mercy & edited by Oona Tempest.

This fic is based off an alternate universe where most of the Ikemen Princes are princesses, from the headcanon of RJThirsty on Ao3. In this fic, Leni is the female version of Licht. Nokto and Leni are both children in this story. There are mentions of implied child abuse.

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Finding The Right Clothes

Nokto ran his little fingers over the frilly dresses hanging in Leni’s closet. They were some of the cutest things he had ever seen, and for a moment he thought how lucky his twin was to be able to wear such pretty clothing. Like a real princess. Like their mama.

For a moment he let himself fantasize about wearing something with ribbons and bows, and just how pretty he’d feel. Leni looked very cute in everything she was dressed in, and since they were twins, he should look as good, right? Yeah, he was sure of it. He’d be just as cute, and maybe he’d get someone saying he was so precious, just like Leni did. Maybe Mama would even call him her sweet little one.

He was starting to get tired of being the bad child, maybe… Maybe if he was sweet like Leni, maybe he’d be better. Maybe Mama wouldn’t be so upset that she had two kids, that she had a boy like him, maybe she’d be happy that they were both just princesses. Maybe she’d sing to him. Maybe she’d sing to them both instead of having only the good kid get rewarded, maybe they could both be good kids.

Urged on by a desire to cover up that dark feeling growing inside him, Nokto pulled an outfit out of the closet and held it in front of him. It had little pearls sewn into it, and a layer of lace adorning several cross-sections. It looked just like the thing a doll would wear, and he liked the complicated design of it.

The sleeves were embroidered with flowers– not roses, he knew what those looked like, but these weren’t roses. Whatever this flower was, was something he hadn’t seen before and the way the different color stitching gave it life was beautiful in his eyes.

“Do you want to wear it?” Leni’s voice came from across the room and Nokto nearly dropped the dress with the way he shook from the scare of hearing someone else there.

Leni had been somewhere else, he wasn’t sure where, but when Nokto had come into their shared bedroom he had noticed there was no one around, which was the reason he decided to look at the dresses. This wasn’t something he hid from Leni, he was always talking about how pretty her clothes were and how cute his sister was, but he had been reprimanded more than once for playing dress up and Nokto was starting to get the idea that liking things like dolls and dresses wasn’t something he was supposed to do.

The dark, uncomfortable feeling in his stomach became thicker as he turned his eyes from his twin to the dress in his hand. “I was just thinking it was pretty. You’re so lucky, Leni. You’re so pretty in all these dresses.”

Leni crossed the room and stood next to Nokto, looking over his shoulder at the dress in hand. “This one is really pretty. You’d look pretty in it too, Nokto.”

“Mama says it’s not right.” Nokto repeated what he had been told, his eyes dimming as the memory of one of the punishments he had received came clearly back to him as if it were just from earlier today.

“Maybe Mama just doesn’t like when she can’t tell us apart.” Leni offered.

The thought made sense. Leni and Nokto weren’t identical twins, but they looked very similar, to the point that they could be confused for each other, and had been on some occasions. They had the same soft silvery hair, and the same red eyes that looked like strawberries. Leni didn’t like people fussing with her hair, so even their hair was worn in a similar fashion, devoid of barrettes and ties.

“You’ll let me wear it? You can wear my clothes. Then we won’t look the same.” Nokto was moving before he had even finished asking.

He set the dress on the bed and went to his bureau, snatching out a set of shorts, socks, a buttoned shirt, and a vest. He pulled a complete outfit out of his armoire and happily bounced back to Leni who was just watching as he raced around the room. Lastly, he threw his arms around his sister, embracing her in the biggest hug he could manage. She was so nice. He was so lucky to have a sister like her.

“I can’t wait to wear it! It’s so pretty! Do you think Mama will do my hair? I want it up in all those braids like hers is.” Nokto talked as he began undressing.

“Maybe. But you can get someone else to do it if she won’t. She brushes my hair sometimes, but I don’t like when they tie it all up like that. It hurts.” Leni rubbed at her scalp at the memory of how it pulled when they twisted her hair into knots. “Do you really like it?”

“Yeah! Mama has hers up, and all the Ladies I see as well. They put all those pins and ornaments in them, and I think it’s really pretty. Yours is pretty, too, Leni. But I also like yours how it is. You have nice hair.”

Nokto brushed his fingers through his sister’s loose hair, petting how soft it was. His was very nearly the same, but it was different when you were touching someone else’s hair, and for some reason it felt softer than his.

“I think yours is pretty, too.” Leni said and pet his head like he was doing to her. Her tiny fingers toyed with a loose curl as she twirled it around her finger. “I have a lot of barrettes, you can use them too.”

“I can’t wait!” Nokto exclaimed, turning back to the clothes that were tossed on the bed to finish dressing up.

He was much faster at dressing than Leni was, though a pair of shorts and a few buttoned up shirts were easier to get on than the dress he was trying to wear. There was more than one time when he had to ask Leni to help him tie or fumble with a button that he couldn’t reach.

Leni usually had someone helping her dress in the mornings, but he didn’t get that treatment. The attendants that set out his clothes for the day usually just set them on the bed for him to change into on his own. And that was fine, he didn’t need help with the buttons that he could see, but Leni was always put into something with too many knots and snaps in places that she couldn’t get to on her own, so it made sense that she needed help and he didn’t.

It was the same with their hair. Even though they both had medium length hair, Leni’s was brushed every day, and his wasn’t. He had wondered if it’s because he was the bad kid, but even on the rare days he wasn’t the bad kid, no one brushed his hair. Eventually, he had decided that it was because Leni wore the dresses.

Something about being in a dress meant that people treated you differently. They paid attention to you more. They talked to you more. They said nice things and smiled at you more. They gave you sweets, and helped you get dressed, and brushed your hair, and got you things you didn’t ask for. Wearing dresses changed the way everyone acted, and it was strange being the same as his twin, except he wore slacks, and none of those things happened to him.

But it wasn’t just that. Yeah, it was nice to think how nice people would be to him if he was wearing the dress for the day, but he just liked the clothes. They just felt right. The way they poofed and swayed, the fabric they were made with, the colors and the extra designs, it was all stuff that made him smile and he wanted to be part of it. He still didn’t understand why it “wasn’t right,” but if it was because Leni and him looked the same, then they should have just said so.

Leni knotted the last strings on Nokto’s outfit, and smiled happily at him. “You look so pretty, Nokto!”

Nokto felt his cheeks heat up a little, he was smiling so much they were starting to hurt. He bunched his skirts in his hands and gave a curtsy. “This is my favorite dress of yours. I like these flowers here.” He said as he dotted his fingers along the embroidery.

“Those are snow lilies.” Leni poked her finger over the design, rubbing at the threading to feel the soft, delicate texture. “I like that they’re white, like our hair.”

“Me too,” Nokto brushed his fingers through Leni’s hair again. She was right, they were almost the same color. He hadn’t really known why he liked the flowers, but maybe that was the reason.

“Leni, you look just like me, right now!” He giggled as he stepped back to see all of Leni in his clothing. “It’s so funny.”

“So do you! You look like me!” She giggled as she looked over her brother wearing her clothes, and thought it was like looking in a mirror, except, this time, she was Nokto and not wearing the dress.

“Wait! What if I’m you today?” Leni suddenly blurted.

“You want to be me?” Nokto’s smile fell slightly as that sense of unease started growing in his stomach again. If Mama was having a bad day, she might make them work to be the good kid and bad kid, and often he was the bad kid. He didn’t want Leni to be the bad kid. He didn’t want Leni to be him . But…

Suddenly he was thinking about all the things that changed when you wore a dress. He was thinking about how Mama was nicer to Leni than him. He was thinking about how she might decide they’re both good kids, because if she tried to punish Leni they could just tell her and then she wouldn’t be mean to Leni. It would be a surprise. And she would realize they were both good kids. Then maybe there won’t be any more bad days.

A smile bloomed on Nokto’s face at the thought. They could all be happy together. Yeah, it sounded like a great idea. “Yeah! Let’s do it!” He lunged in and gave Leni a hug, jumping up and down in excitement while he squeezed her tight.

The twins giggled and embraced as they made their secret plan, excited about the opportunity to play such a great trick on everyone else. The first thing they had to do was go trick their older brother, Yves. And they could probably fool Leanne, and Candice wouldn’t know any better. Chevalier was kind of weird, so they’d stay away from her. Suriyel often showed up at some point during the day, though Mama told them to stay away from her. She was evil. But even Suriyel wouldn’t be able to tell if they did happen to see her.

In hushed voices, they talked about the places they’d go together and how funny it would be to tell everyone the truth after they tricked them. Nokto sat at the vanity while Leni brushed his hair. The way the bristles slid through his silver strands felt strangely calming and even in the giddy mood he was in, it made him want to close his eyes and just fall asleep to it.

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